Why Facebook Is Ridiculous

No. I don't mean that. I love Facebook. Albeit, I haven't thought about many of my "friends" since sixth grade (which was the last time I saw them). Yet, I am able to know their occupations, political viewpoints, and I would be able to recognize their children at the grocery store. As long as they were wearing those adorable Halloween costumes that I care so much about. And I really do think this is--if nothing else--so very amusing.

While there are plenty of randoms on my news feed, there are also a lot of real friends and family members who live far away. Even with frequent calls and emails, there are things I'd miss if it weren't for the ole 'book. The impromptu pictures of my niece and nephews that are so easy for their parents to snap, upload, and forget about keep me refreshing incessantly.

As I frequent refresh-er, I don't miss much. Which is why I know first-hand that Facebook is only as good as its most ridiculous users. And as we all know, there is no shortage of ridiculous on this site.

Allow me to enter as evidence, an actual picture that showed up in my news feed today:





What in the everloving hell is this?! To whom, please tell me, is this appealing?

I want to know who read this and thought (in the voice of a redneck, no doubt), "Bow-shit! Not me! I absolutely support pet abuse! I cannot fully get behind animal abuse as a whole, because I am not all that offended by ferrets. But for me personally, I allow this mangy-ass, thankless, money-sucking asshole of a Golden Retriever to live in my home. Or the abandoned lot behind my home. And damnit, it's my Uhmer'can right to kick his ass er'y now and again."

No one. No one has thought that ever. This is not necessary at all.

So I have to ask. Are people this stupid? Or, are they abusing their pets? Because the only reason I can think of where I would find it acceptable to share this with 1,056 friends, loved ones, and people who look familiar but I can't really place, is if I had just punched my dog in the face and was trying to cover my tracks.

I'm on to you, pet abusers. And for the record, I hope I'm wrong here. And if I am, then join me, and stop posting these idiotic pictures. And also? Your daughter is six. She should not own a "sexy cop" costume. Get that under control before October.