When Things Look Up, Don't Forget to Look Down

I like to keep things positive. If I wasn't such a lush, I would consider myself a "glass half full" kind of person, but truth be told, the glass is usually empty. And not in an angsty teen kind of way. Because let's celebrate! And drink to that! And to anything, really. I'm probably drunk right now.

But I digress. Currently, I'm unemployed and bored. Finding motivation is hard, and the "Apply Here" tab is a black hole that drains my time and sucks out my soul. But I am trying to enjoy my "time off." I'm getting to know my new city and becoming more intimately acquainted with Kardashian re-runs than I ever thought possible. [Spoiler alert: They fight. They are insane. They make up in the end. Then Kanye West sacrifices them all on an alter he has erected in honor of himself.]

So this little break from the real world is a good thing! Case in point: I spend a lot of time with my dog. No! It's not pathetic! I am OBSESSED with this guy. We are lucky enough to live next to an "Agricutural Center" which features this great little trail where we walk the dog.

I was feeling especially positive on our morning walk, smiling and annoyingly greeting all my fellow hikers with an overdramatic welcome. My Jack Johnson Pandora station was playing all my favorite songs. Our oppressively hot June was taking a break for a more seasonably comfortable temperature.

"What a great day," I actually said out loud to Handsome, said dog, because I am that irritating and starved for conversation buddies. "I'd like to remember this day through the foggy, light-altered filter of Instagram," I also may have said.

Example:



Then, the energy force in the Universe that counterbalances those who annoy the shit out of everyone else stepped in. "Enough is enough," I imagine the Force said. "I was going to let you slide until you thumbs-upped the 86th version of Banana Pancakes. You are an adult for chrissakes."

While I was trotting along in happy oblivion, snapping cell phone pictures of trees and rocks that I will find completely useless in a more cynical moment, I stepped in a giant pile of horse crap.

Proof:



Noted. The lesson? Ehh. Does there always have to be a lesson? I don't know, but if so, perhaps it's that sometimes the sun shines on your face while a horse shits on your shoes. It's all about the balance.